I blush at your kind words, and my thoughts get tangled up somewhere in that space between my mind and my lips, so only a nodding “yay” comes out.
I’m not sure what to say. It’s not because I didn’t find the compliment to give me a warm fuzzy feeling of love. I do.
I just have this little issue of self-worthiness, so I am not so open to receiving your words of praise. I’ll say, “thank you, but…” all-the-while thinking that I’m not worthy of this love, so I do not allow myself to receive fully.
I’m well-aware that this sounds pathetic, but it’s the truth about being a creative soul in a human body.
I’m all about the acts of creating that I often forget to think beyond the experience, and so I find myself blushing if or when you offer generous words.
I’ve tried not to allow my ego to be the guide, and yet I realize (as I write these words) that there’s a way to be authentic and successful without the ego.
Ego is messy. Ego likes praises. Ego fluffs out with self-worth like a male peacock chasing a pea-hen.
I don’t want to feed my ego, and yet I want to share my art.
How do I embrace or receive praise without embodying my ego into the experience of creativity?
I think it’s about exploring self-worth as a self-discovery, not as a competion.
It’s about asking myself if I’m doing all that I need and want to do for my creative soul today.
For me, needing involves sharing love for the people in my life as well as our earth, creating art (in its varied forms), and carving words onto pages with ink to delight others.
Needing is all about art, but it isn’t about competition. I don’t need to be better than any other artist; I want to discover how to grow into my creative soul with every new day.
Receiving is a mirror of that growth, especially if I truly allow myself to enjoy your words of praise, knowing that they may have helped in finding pieces of your creative soul too. Inspiring you to take that leap into the world of creating, not just consuming.
And so, I will begin today to be more receptive, seeing the gift of your words as an opening that can be shared again and again like the rays of sunshine or hugs from a dear friend.