outside my window
in the pale blue light of dawn,
on this last day
of a decade
that was all about change.
I admit that I’m not quite ready to wear the numerical emblem of being a “grownup” even though I’ve had to be wise beyond my years for most of my life.
Today I awoke in the darkness of pre-dawn to see Venus, & the crescent-shaped moon, thinking that they are so old, and yet gorgeous.
Can women be considered the same as we age?
It seems—by our cultural standards—that once we hit that magic number then women become less beautiful. Our bodies hold the shape of stories we’ve lived through, crow’s feet at the corners of our eyes & strong thighs from carrying our soul upright, most-of-the-time.
But this standard of beauty hasn’t been portrayed by the screens since Marilyn Monroe. Unfortunately, I grew up with the pouty lips of starved models as an icon of perfection. False expectations that I had to do this and do that by a certain age, & I didn’t.
I did things my own way.
Those things were like a continual birth & rebirth of my soul’s energy as I faced the surprisingly unique plot twists in my own life over this past decade.
I found myself in spaces & places that forced me to go through the dark night of my soul, and awake with a sense of humbling gratitude and more strength in my spirit, but less so in my body.
A decade of time seems enormous for the young, but not for something as old as the moon for aging is irrelevant even though she controls our tides, pulling us in-and-out of the tidal zone of our emotions. The process of change is constant regardless of time.
And yet time causes change at the corners of our eyes.
Our culture has morphed—gone through this amazing rebirth—in this past decade, so maybe what I perceive as expectations has dramatically altered.
Yep, it’s been a decade of change for me: loving deeper and with more awareness, writing, creating art, & returning home to the golden hills of California.
And through all these ebbs-and-flows of the ocean tides, I’ve come to see that one of the greatest gifts in which I’ve received in the past decade has been learning the “art of being in the now.”
Now is this moment when the world wakes up: bats zoom, geese honk, garbage truck clanks, a Cessna flys overhead, & I type these words about rebirth, bats, & the seemingly ageless light of the moon.
Now is one decade coming to a close, & another one opening up, signaling new inspiration & possibilities of deepening the laughter lines along my jade green eyes while awaiting to see how much more our culture will change to include more love, more playfulness, & less perfection.
Copyright 2015 © Jes Wright